Assalamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh
All praise and gratitude are due to Allah SWT. May the blessings and peace of Allah SWT be upon His Messenger PBUH.
At the outset, Islam has 5 different rulings surrounding marriage, and each ruling deals with different circumstances than the other. These rulings, based on certain conditions, make marriage fardh, haram, mustahhab (preferred) or makrooh (disliked), or otherwise mubah (neither liked nor disliked). Thus, there is no standard rule for marriage in Islam. Every circumstance is different.
It is useful to begin first with the Prophet’s saying: “When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so there will be temptation in the earth and extensive corruption.” The literal meaning of this Hadith is that it is waajib (obligatory) to accept the proposal of a man with good character. However, the different rulings of marriage must be superimposed on the literal meaning of the Hadith. For example, if there is a fear that either partner cannot fulfill the duties which arise from marriage, then that marriage is haram for them, as it is impermissible in Islam to do an injustice to another person.
Nevertheless, it is vital that the selection of a partner for a man or woman is based on character, as opposed to other reasons such as wealth or position. Generally speaking, if we are entirely sure that the person who is proposing has good character, we encourage strongly that the family of the bride accept the proposal as it is very hard to find such a man nowadays. We should also consider the interests of the couple and help build their joint future. The best example of this is when Prophet Shuayb AS offered his daughter to Prophet Musa AS in marriage when he realised the extent of Prophet Musa’s good character. This is related in Surat Al Qasas, Ayah 28.
We ask Allah SWT to help every single person find their partner on good character and Deen and to build our community on good character and Deen. Ameen.
And Allah SWT knows best.